I’ve spaced out writing for the last few days. Mostly because I’ve had so many things to do that I ended up all ADD about it and accomplished nothing. Well, not NOTHING. But I’ve lost track of my counting. I’m going to add 2 more good days just because it seems mostly like things sucked and when they didn’t I wasn’t satisfied with what I did.
Oy.
So the count is 7. Seven good days so far this year, using my highly subjective and variable system.
…take it!
I think that’s one of Yogi Berra’s famous quotes. Makes me laugh no matter how many times I hear it. So, I was thinking…what if the traveler is moving in the opposite direction? He’s coming up one of the forks toward where you’re standing. What HIS advice? If you come to a point where the road widens and another path meets that road at the same point where you’re meeting it…<out of breath>, take the bigger road (or take the smaller road that juts off in an unnatural direction…) Sounds like 10th grade geometry. No matter what the advice, I think I’d be inclined to think the speaker was an idiot and I’d just better use my own wits and take whatever path made sense right then. (Which, since I thought of the question, makes *me* the idiot…confirming my deepest darkest secret.)
Today felt like some sort of fork in the road, and I guess I’m feeling like, although it probably turned out to be a “Good Day” (that makes 5 so far in 2008), I still don’t know what the heck is next…
Yesterday was…well, not a good day. But I can tell that I’m starting to let my standards relax. So, being the optimist that I just can’t escape being (no matter how much I really really try…REALLY), I’m going to count yesterday as a “good” day. Is that 4 or 5 so far in 2008?
Way back in the summer between my junior and senior years in high school I went to Turkey as an AFS Summer program student. I lived with a small extended family of 5 in Izmir, about halfway down the western Aegean coast. And in the many years since then I’ve tried to get some sort of communication going with the son in that family, who was like my little brother that whole summer. Today I managed to reach him by phone!
The first thing I did was find out if he used email and then got his address. Anyone under 25 just hasn’t any idea what a significantly different place Earth is today due to changes in communication technology. I’m not saying it’s all for the better, but in this case it was freaking amazing! I spoke with him for just a few minutes, but the call was as clear as if he was in the same city. I really hope we stay in touch this time. And I guess that’s where this post comes full circle… my freaking optimism.
The NFL football payoffs are in full swing and I’m finding myself hating really not pulling for pretty much every team. Why? because they’re not MY team. I really want them all to lose. That’s pathetic…
I watched Kansas beat Nebraska last night in their Big 12 Conference opener. It felt good to watch them win, like it had ANYTHING to do with me..!? I like watching college basketball more than the pro’s, but when it’s a local team or a personal favorite, I get all caught up in my own validation for backing a winner. Sheesh… What’s a “winner” then? This is all so artificial and feels like a real character flaw.
Let’s face it, sports on TV is entertainment; BIG money entertainment. Show biz. Where is the real sport? I know it’s in there somewhere, but the network (advertising) timeouts during the game, the radio call-in shows, the retail stores devoted to nothing but sports t-shirts, the time spent in the corporate world on “fantasy leagues”, and the blur between what’s news or sports or entertainment makes me wonder. And wrestling??? Oh, please, don’t get me started.
We live and die with the fortunes of “our” teams, which are made up of highly paid athletic mercenaries. Sounds like 21st century warfare. Hmmm. Maybe the Blackwater contractors and the suicide bombers should be organized into teams and have their battles scripted and televised. Wow; that opens up a lot of possibilities. Anyway, I’m going to reassess my emotional commitments to anything or anyone other than my friends, family, and loved ones.
Since we’re still only 12 days into 2008 (!) this post is, as far as I’m concerned, still a New Year’s message.
I generally start off each new year being pretty optimistic about all the possibilities for doing all that I do BETTER and for discontinuing all the things that I really shouldn’t be doing. That’s probably an unrealistic perspective and one that I can always point to as being totally outrageous and unreasonable and how could I have possibly thought ANY of that was even possible??? And then, of course, my chronic underachievement (which I refer to as “just being realistic”) kicks in and I feel better about myself because I feel bad about myself. Ah, we humans just LOVE the familiar and predictable.
But this year will be different. There are so many new and delicious possibilities just hanging in front of my face. Maybe they’ve been there all along and I just didn’t see them before because I was distracted by having a routine, a job, money, having so much just…taken care of… that I got really really lazy about just seeing the world around me. Or just maybe THIS year, 2008, is really a NEW YEAR. I mean as in “Lurlene, we ain’t never had a year like this’n b’fore.”
I am feeling optimistic, and that hasn’t happened in quite a while. Try this (I’m going to): keep track of how many “good” days you have this year. Use whatever criteria you want; there’s nothing objective about this. Keep count. We’ll compare notes as the year slides by and see what comes of the awareness. Today was a good day, so that’s 1. I’d guess I’ve had a couple more since New Year’s day so my count when I wake up tomorrow morning will be 3 good days. Come to think of it, maybe waking up and being able to count makes a good day right there.
See you later.
Dan